Then there are days when I need a mommy drink after my son goes to bed. On these days one or both of us just aren't feeling it and I'm counting down the hours until nap time and bed time. During these days I might look like I haven't slept in a few days. I also am probably in comfy baggy clothes that don't match with my greasy hair thrown under a hat. And I definitely will stop thru a drive thru or Starbucks to feed myself lunch. On these days I might have a hard time coming up with ways to engage and stimulate my kiddo. Calvin's off days mean he's sick and/or tired and hard to console. He might not want to do much other than cry because he is too tired or sick and doesn't feel well. He also might be having a rough day and isn't able to communicate well with me what he wants or what's going on and I cannot seem to make him happy. In addition, his growing changing body could cause us to have to face new challenges, like when he went thru several sleep regressions, that can make him act like a holy terror. These long days are tough but afterwards I am glad for them because on the tough days we both get stronger and closer as we work thru the tough times together.
On top of the changing days, parenting is also a learning experience. Myself and Calvin are constantly learning. He is growing and developing at such a remarkable rate. As he changes and learns I have to adjust how we play, what he eats, what boundaries and rules to set and how interact with him. We both are constantly learning together. Some lessons are easier and come more naturally than others.
I am so lucky that thru this complex and incredible adventure I have the support of my family, friends, spouse, co-workers and day care providers. All these wonderful folks have provided me with love, support, insight, encouragement, ideas, hugs and sometimes a much needed break. These people have been there to praise and to encouragement me on the good days and they have been there as a shoulder to cry on, to offer advice or to provide me with time away.
In the beginning my pride and my worry about wanting to seem like the perfect mom led me to hide some of the tough times and challenges with my friends and family. I slowly learned to open up to these caring people and to ask for help or support or a break when I needed it. These people are there for me and for my family and many of them have been thru what I'm going thru. Remember to open up to those who you trust when you need a helping hand. Raising a wild one is a tough job and no one should ever have to feel alone in this monumental task.
My husband HATES taking pics so he truly did show his support for me in this picture. I wanted to have my husband in this photo because we recently celebrated our ten year anniversary and he is my biggest supporter. He has always been there for me and makes me feel like an amazing mom and wife. When we first had Calvin I was most scared to open up to him. I love him so much and I look up to him and the thought up disappointing him or of not being the "perfect" mother scared me. I didn't want his love for me to change. Also, he had an amazing mother growing up and I wanted to be just as good as her. On top of that I am hoping to have another little wild one at some point and thought if he saw that I had a tough day or was struggling that he wouldn't want to. With his help I have learned to share my struggles with him. I have been there to support him and he is there to support me thru our changing roles as mother and father. Opening up and having his support is amazing. He has quelled my fears, been there for me how I needed him to be and always makes me feel like an amazing mother. Remember to open up to those closest to you. It will make motherhood so much more rewarding as you share your adventure with those who love you.
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